Walking with Jesus Through Life’s Hard Moments

How grief, faith, and a classroom prayer led me to a deeper trust in God

By LaNell Grant

Early in my walk with Jesus, I faced a tragedy I never imagined. The loss of a child during late pregnancy brought a kind of pain I didn’t know was possible. It was raw, heart-wrenching, and overwhelming. Yet even in the depths of grief, the Lord’s nearness sustained me. He comforted me, healed me, and walked with me through one of the hardest seasons of my life. And in time, He brought beauty from ashes and glory to His name.

Looking back, I realize that even though I had accepted Christ and believed in His goodness, I wasn’t exempt from sorrow. Faith didn’t shield me from suffering, but it did carry me through it. This wasn’t minor discomfort or passing inconvenience; it was real, soul-deep pain. And yet, in the midst of it all, I encountered something profound. For the first time, I truly understood the power behind the words of Nehemiah 8:10: “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

As adults, we know (at least intellectually) that life comes with trials. But many of us, me included, have carried an unspoken belief that once we surrender our lives to Christ, suffering should somehow vanish. It doesn't. And perhaps more importantly, it shouldn’t. An absence of tragedy is not the mark of intimacy with Christ. Rather, it’s our intimacy with Him that transforms how we walk through tragedy. Knowing Jesus doesn’t exempt us from pain, but it does equip us to endure it with hope, peace, and strength that only He can provide.

"An absence of tragedy is not the mark of intimacy with Christ. Rather, it’s our intimacy with Him that transforms how we walk through tragedy."

A Classroom Prayer

Around 2015, I was in my classroom during an off period from teaching high school English, and I found myself in a full-out cry. I was experiencing what I now recognize as the beginning of a deeper level of spiritual awareness.

I believed in God, likely God the Father, and I had sensed the presence of God, likely the Holy Spirit. But Jesus? I was struggling. Struggling with who I thought He was, or who others claimed Him to be. Struggling with the injustice often done in his name. Struggling with the false version of the Gospel I knew – one that pointed to the self-seeking of earthly prosperity and seemed to care little for the marginalized.

That day, the tension between my spirit and my soul was thick. I remember marching around that classroom, fist waving, tears falling and demanding the presence of The Most High God. Toting that I was one of the 'good' ones, aggrandizing that the kingdom of God and God Himself had the most to benefit from my allegiance. In my pride, I thought, it would be to God’s benefit that He revealed Himself to me.

Sadly, my ego was big in those days and my understanding was just as immature. My desire to feel and be special ran rampant. But the truth is, I did not feel special. I did not feel seen. And I desperately wanted to be known by the God of the heavens and earth... if He was indeed real.

Despite the wicked disposition of my flesh, and the aching of my confused soul, my spirit cried out: “But if you are real, then please let me know you before tragedy strikes.”

With the anger I had against God at that time (from which I have since repented), that was an odd prayer. And I am convinced it was inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Tragedy Came. But So Did God.

Soon after (and due to many divinely orchestrated experiences that will have to remain stories for another day!), I gave my life to Jesus. In walking with Him, I came to realize that He is nothing like the critics say. He is worthy. He is holy. He is gentle and strong. He is, without question, the Savior.

The newness I experienced in giving my life to Christ was indescribable and filled with a sense of peace and purpose I had never known. But the honeymoon didn’t last long.

My husband and I, in the seventh month of pregnancy, lost our first child. It’s a pain I would never wish on anyone. But the truth is, many women, and many families know this pain all too well.

It's a kind of grief that leaves you speechless. Hope feels snatched. Optimism turns into cynicism. My humor, something I always carried, left me. I spent weeks with a shallow laugh. The kind of laugh that stops abruptly. The kind of laugh that is performative. I grieved deeply, for the loss of our child. And I grieved deeply, for the loss of myself.

Yet, I remember a specific moment on my restroom floor that was a turning point. Even though I was emotionally undone and my heart was crushed, I felt something new rise in my belly: laughter... joy. And I knew this was the moment. This was the tragedy I had prayed about in that classroom. I was in the midst of the most traumatic experience of my life. But I knew God!

God Was There

I understood in that moment that even in our lowest valleys, God is there. His nearness is real. His peace is not a theory; it is in His presence. Like Psalm 34:18 (ESV) says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” I had cultivated a real relationship with The One True Living God. Though everything around me was dark, and I couldn’t conceptualize what my new normal would be, the Lord’s presence comforted me.

Another scripture that grounded me and helped me begin to push back against succumbing to depression was John 11:35: “Jesus wept.” Before raising Lazarus, Jesus mourned. He entered into human pain with divine compassion. That tells me that our Lord not only has power, but He also has a heart for us. He doesn’t rush us out of our grief. He sits with us in it. He weeps with us. And then, in His timing, He brings healing.

Having God's peace does not mean we won’t still have to grieve. Having His joy doesn’t mean we won’t experience sadness. But having nearness to the Lord can prevent us from losing ourselves in our darkest moments. We can maintain that our identity is in Christ, and we can be hopeful that a new dawn will come and push back against the night.

"Our Lord not only has power, but He also has a heart for us. He doesn’t rush us out of our grief. He sits with us in it."

My ‘Yes’ Is Rooted in His Faithfulness

Psalm 50:15 says, “Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” This verse is foundational to me because I am sure that’s what happened in my classroom back in 2015. I believe my spirit cried out unto the Lord. And although I didn’t know it yet, I would soon need rescuing and delivering. And this scripture, His word, meant that He would be dutiful to do it.

That moment became one of the defining moments of my faith, and I truly believe it brings God glory because it’s where I developed my first level of resolve to give Him my forever 'yes.'

Because He long-suffered with me through my prideful disposition. Because God met me in my grief. Because He gave me peace and joy at a time when it was unfathomable to me. Because He was faithful to His daughter. He will always have my yes.

It’s not easy to walk with Christ. To stay planted. To keep saying yes. But for me, the more I reflect on what Jesus has done, what He bore, and how He revealed Himself to me personally, the firmer my ‘yes’ becomes.

And I am human. This hasn’t come without its ups and downs. A wavering of faith from time to time. But when things are hard, one of the best things that we can do is walk with Jesus. He is good to grant us our salvation, and He will be just as good to grant us our sanctification and our maturation.

We don’t have to rush to know all the answers about why something is happening in our lives. We can simply take comfort in knowing that we serve a sovereign God, and He is with us.

If You’re in a Hard Moment Now

If you are grieving, questioning, or brokenhearted, please know you’re not alone. I don’t claim to understand every story. But I know God is near.

He’s not only with you in victory, He’s with you in the valley. He sees you. He hears you. And you have access to a joy that can erupt from your belly, even in the middle of sorrow.

Because of that moment in my life, because of His faithfulness, I will walk with Him. I will let Christ mold me and carry me through every hard moment. My resolve is sealed, and my yes is firm.

I pray you find His nearness regardless of where you are. I pray you find His peace regardless of what you are facing. And I pray you will allow the joy of the Lord to be your strength.

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LaNell Grant is married to the love of her life (Cory), is a mother of three, and is an award-winning music producer and artist. She serves faithfully in local ministry in Houston, Texas.